“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another”. ~Anatole France
In life there is love and loss, but with loss comes the opportunity for something new to love… I however, am not quite to that stage in my “grief”. Today, I am feeling the beginnings of loss. I know that some may not understand my heartache, but if you’ve ever had a special place that has intigrated itself into the very fibers of your being, has become a part of you, and has helped you to grow into who you are becoming then you know what I am feeling.
For me, this place is my local Borders and specifically the very cafe that I am sitting at present for what may be the last time.
Now, I know it’s just a building and just a business, and there are other book stores out there, but to me it has been so much more over the years. It has been my refuge, my escape, my battlefield, my inspiration, my challenger, my friend.
It all began several years ago, when my love affair with reading was rekindled and I discovered the stacks anew. Countless hours spent -and in all honesty, probably countless dollars too *shh don’t tell hubby* ;)- browsing the different genres, learning where all the titles of my new favorite authors rested waiting for me to find them. Imagination, fantasy, and creativity infused new life deep into my soul. For years I struggled lacking the proper creative outlet for me allowing a dormancy to take root, but Borders on it’s white stallion charged in trampling it, letting the seedlings of creativity grow.
*dramatic much?* Sigh. Today I’m feeling especially dramatic and sentimental. Don’t they know? I DON’T DEAL WITH CHANGE WELL! I’m one of those “slow to process big change” people. Borders has been with me from the very beginning of not only my reading rebirth, but my writing journey. I have a favorite spot in the cafe that my muse shows up with fresh inspiration as I gaze out at all the stacks of all those that have gone before me in this journey. All the imagination! The creativity! The realized dreams! – staring right back at me, willing me to keep going, to keep writing, to keep following my dream.
Borders has not only been my safe haven for all the words in my head to find freedom, but it holds social sentiments as well. I have made friends here- the staff all know me and the baristas know my name and my drink (which who doesn’t love that?)- I met a special writer friend here who has been a point of inspiration and motivation for me (you know who you are 😉 It is also the place my mom, my daughter and I go to spend time together. I have been bringing my daughter here since she was tiny (granted she’s only 2). When we drive by she yells from her car seat kicking her feet in excitment, “Book store?” She loves to run up and down the isles and have her “special drink” in the cafe with Grammy. She LOVES to read- girl after my own heart!
Now where will I go? My muse is stubborn, I’ll have to begin coaxing her off the ledge of despair into a hope that there is another place she can flourish and be free. I know… dramatic. Her, of course, not little ol’ me 😉
So to the Borders of Northpointe Shopping Center, Thank You and Goodbye.
“Change always comes bearing gifts.” ~Price Pritchett
I was partially inspired to write this after reading Christina Katz’ post on her Borders memories- give it a read!
What about you? Do you have any Borders memories to share?