Paranoia

AGGHHHH! At this very moment my husband is reading my VERY VERY rough draft of my novel thus far. Only 1 person has read it and even then it was only the first couple chapters. Oh my mind is reeling with how disjointed and unfocused it is. I haven’t even gone back and read it from the beginning in awhile and for some reason think that I have a couple chapters out of order. Oh the insanity! That’s what he is going to say when he’s done, I’m sure of it. I altered my characters a bit as I went and need to go back and make them cohesive. What if he hates it? What if it’s not interesting or any good? I wish I didn’t know that he was reading it RIGHT NOW because I can’t think of anything else.

People may not realize how personal writing is, especially fiction. It is telling of my imagination and my ability (or inability) for descriptions that will invite and include others into my world and to let anyone in, even he that is closest to my heart and my biggest supporter, is a very BIG stretch for me.  I’m scared.  At least I am not home and can’t see his initial reactions, because like I said, it’s ROUGH.  Of course, I will want people to read it and re-read it and give me critiques, but when it is MUCH further along.  This will be hard to get used to.  Is it just me or do others feel this way with their first WIP?  Ok, I must keep writing so my time is not wasted.  Stay tuned…

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